Comedian Jon Stewart's Death
Now mind you, I am a kind and gentle person behind my rough persona, but I must admit that I find myself at times just wishing this comedian would just sort of disappear, or go "poof" in the middle of the night.
I just get tired of doing searches on myself on Google or Yahoo and not being able to find myself because of some comedian. There's also a second rate musician by the same name, but of course the big cheese I have to compete with is Jon Stewart. Mind you, if you put "printer" or "consultant" in your search string I get pretty high rankings with most search engines, but do a search on my name alone with no other key words attached and all you get is stuff about this hack comedian!
Heck, Google and Yahoo don't even seem to mind that the comedian's name is spelled "Jon" not "John" but then again they've probably figured most Americans can't spell properly and they simply don't care about how he spells his name, just so long as they can get a laugh.
Well, by November this problem should be resolved!
I recently placed an email order with Vodoo Dolls Now, Inc. in Haiti. They actually sell special gift kits containing a look-alike Vodoo doll of the person you want to exterminate, six different injury and death spells you can cast, plus a box of 100 various length pins and needles you can use to stick into the doll. I'm not even going to use the little needles... I am starting immediately with the six and seven inch hair pins. The company doesn't offer any specific guarantees but they promise that most of the spells do take effect within six weeks. They caution about not using more than two pins a day, but my plans are to use a handful the very first day this box arrives here at the office.
So there you have it, the unvarnished truth and all. I figure by the early part of November I won't have to worry about this guy anymore. Anyway, here's to Jay Leno!
I just get tired of doing searches on myself on Google or Yahoo and not being able to find myself because of some comedian. There's also a second rate musician by the same name, but of course the big cheese I have to compete with is Jon Stewart. Mind you, if you put "printer" or "consultant" in your search string I get pretty high rankings with most search engines, but do a search on my name alone with no other key words attached and all you get is stuff about this hack comedian!
Heck, Google and Yahoo don't even seem to mind that the comedian's name is spelled "Jon" not "John" but then again they've probably figured most Americans can't spell properly and they simply don't care about how he spells his name, just so long as they can get a laugh.
Well, by November this problem should be resolved!
I recently placed an email order with Vodoo Dolls Now, Inc. in Haiti. They actually sell special gift kits containing a look-alike Vodoo doll of the person you want to exterminate, six different injury and death spells you can cast, plus a box of 100 various length pins and needles you can use to stick into the doll. I'm not even going to use the little needles... I am starting immediately with the six and seven inch hair pins. The company doesn't offer any specific guarantees but they promise that most of the spells do take effect within six weeks. They caution about not using more than two pins a day, but my plans are to use a handful the very first day this box arrives here at the office.
So there you have it, the unvarnished truth and all. I figure by the early part of November I won't have to worry about this guy anymore. Anyway, here's to Jay Leno!
posted by The Quick Consultant at
1:56 PM
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